The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
