There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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