Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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