i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
