come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
