I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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