dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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