Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
