Pants 0. Shit 1.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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