my sisters under your porch take her home
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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