The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
