The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
