yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
