You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
