he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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