Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Me too!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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