While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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