Yo dont text me then not text me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
