Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
