It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
