am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
