Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
