Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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