Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
