He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
