so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
