i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
where are you?
Hypothermia
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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