i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
