i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
