forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
