Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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