dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
