Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
