You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
