Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
