Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
