ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
