the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You had me at "let me see your balls"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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