You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize