Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
