I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize