I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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