My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
