Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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