Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
