that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize