He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
