Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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