i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
