You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
