I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
