he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
