ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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