If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
