so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
