well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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