I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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