If i come over, it means nothing
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
