Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
