So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
