I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
