Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
