hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
