I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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