i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
