I will die if light touches me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
