just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize